Getting What You Want #gettingwhatyouwant #lifecoaching

Self-power doesn’t mean that you come out like a complete jerk. It’s not about putting others down or stepping on others to get what you want.

You are putting your needs and values first, that is for sure.

You can still be a compassionate person, you can still care for others. You can also stand your ground firmly, and use your voice proudly and you can set those boundaries and let everyone know about them.

In God’s timeline, we don’t always get what we “think” we want in the time we want it.

God knows what’s best for us and we are subject to his timeline. Raging against this and tantrumming about this doesn’t help move things along any quicker. But it does show you where your passion lies. The things that you get all upset about and rage over, most likely point to your passions. Need help with identifying passions and purpose? Email me. Waiting for what we want to come takes patience, and a look inside of ourselves. What we truly want will come but only after what we need shows up first and teaches us what we need it to. Then after we learn our life lessons, we can figure out what best suits us. So if you think you want something and are waiting for it in misery, try evaluating your situation. What can you do differently to get to your goal? Is what you want, what you really want? What is this moment teaching you? What do you need to address first before you can receive what you want?

One can spend a lot of time in want. If you spend your day like that, wanting and yearning and waiting for an outside rescue, that’s a huge red flag that you are not being present, and you are missing a lesson that life is trying to teach you. There is something you must address first before you get to your want. What is it? What are you avoiding doing or facing? What are you running away from? When you spend time in want you are not accessing your self-power. You are being a victim to life, you are living at the effect of it, and are waiting for it to lead you and rescue you. How about you leading and rescuing yourself?  

Once you discover your values and passions, then you can spend your time and energy honoring them and working toward them!! What a great way to spend your life; constantly working toward your need and wants! What luxury! What truly satisfying goals!

You are going to have challenges. You are going to have crappy people show up in your life. Those people are your sharpeners. They will grind your gears and get your blood boiling. Those are the times in life to take notice and take note on the things that get your undies in a twist. All those things point to your values and passions.

And stand up for yourself when these people show up. Show these sharpeners who you are. You are a fine-tipped pencil and you are not afraid to write your own destiny. They may learn a thing from you and may change their abrasive ways. Maybe, maybe not. It’s not your concern. Stand up for what you value, and move on if it gets too toxic. Because self-care and boundaries are so important. Your mental health is so important. Exposing yourself to daily abuse or neglect is toxic to your health on all levels. If you are showing up in a place that is in stark contrast of your values, that is toxic. Know when to hold them, and know when to fold them, know when to walk away, know when to run. Thank you Kenny Rogers.

So to get out of constant wanting and yearning, what do you do? Identify your values and passions. Spend your time working toward value-based goals. Use challenging people as a way to sharpen your skills in dealing with toxic people. Don’t be a victim. Respect God’s timeline. Look for lessons that life is trying to teach you. If you feel stuck, there is a reason for it! You are missing a lesson or an opportunity for growth. Set those boundaries and be verbal about them. Pursue your passions with unbridled exuberance. Lead. Practice self-care. Talk to a life coach. Follow and find your bliss. Your bliss is the thing that makes you not even aware of time. Time disappears when you are in your bliss. We are not going to be in bliss 247. But if you put your bliss first, and you spend your time working toward your bliss, then you will have it there when you want it. 

 

(For the purposes of this article, I refer to the designer of creation as “God”. I also use “him” as an identifier. My fiance likes to use “she” which I always, correct and say, “he”. So one’s interpretation of God is their own, and I am armed with the license to express my interpretation in my own post.)

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Self-Soothing #Selfcare #SelfLove #SelfAcceptance #Self #LifeCoaching

Weekly Wellness Series, August 15, 2018

What is Self-Care all about?

Self-Care is checking in with your needs on a daily basis.

Ask yourself “What do I need today?”

Have you been putting off exercising?

What can you do today? Walk? A short run? 20 jumping jacks?

Do you get enough sleep last night?

Here are some self-care tips:

Exercise a strength – whatever it is – writing, singing, telling jokes, dancing, running, volunteering, cooking, etc.  

Document yourself – Journal – take photos, write about something you love

Switch up your schedule – invite positive change into your week, add an activity – delete an activity

Play! – Do a puzzle – play a game

Unplug your electronics – or blast your favorite song

Make a connection – call someone you haven’t spoke to in a while

Engage Your Senses

The smell and taste of a tea bag

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the smell and feel of oils or lotion

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I’ve been dazzling my senses with essential oils.

Carry some in your purse, keep some in your car.

I always carry journals with me. Even though I do a lot of reading and writing with my cell phone, there is nothing quite like writing with a pen on paper for me. It really slows me down.

Pay attention to yourself. Look inward. What are your needs?

 

The Art of the #BounceBack #Resilience #Coaching #LifeCoaching

Wellness Wednesday Weekly Series August 8, 2018

Life takes you down sometimes.

What does help? An internet meme that tells you to think positive?

What actually helps: PAWS

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Not those kind of PAWS, but this kind:

P

Patience –  Times will change, tides will turn, storms will pass, new beginnings will be born.

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Awareness – that all things are temporary.

W

Wisdom – that you know you will be happy again.

S

Self-Love – A consistent practice of self-love and self-care. (Look for Self-care tips next week).

All of these things build Resilience. When you are resilient, you don’t give up. You may rest, when you need to rest. You may surrender to the Universe and release control. But you always come back, stronger than before.

The world is filled with so many things. There are so many things that can grab your attention.

You are not limited to the circling thoughts in your mind.

New beginnings are born each day.

(Like these little kitty cats)

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So back to those “think positive” internet memes. They do help. But only when they are part of a thought out, planned and performed lifestyle of self-care, self-love and self-acceptance.

And remember to live with PAWS.

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Be Like Wolfie

#BeingPresent and what it means, and what if your #present moment sucks? #livinginthenow #presentmoment

Wellness Wednesday Weekly Series August 1, 2018

Being present just means being all in and connecting with the reality of the moment that you are in. In this current moment, the past is gone and the future hasn’t occurred. All you have is this moment. Say to yourself, “I am here now, this is my moment.” Allow all of the filters you see through dissolve. See yourself as this human being experiencing life, you are an expression of existence manifesting in this moment. Look around you, breathe the air, notice the scents and smells. Using your vision, notice the texture of things, study the objects around you, the living beings and creatures around you. We are consciousness expressed in this living form. Touch something. Utilize all of your senses. You are not a victim to this world, you are this world. You are an expression of the creator, of the creation of all things. You are worthy of life, of happiness and joy.

When you connect with what you are doing and when you are all in, blocks dissolve, anxiety disappears and wonderment fills your heart.

Activate all 5 senses

You can do one sense at a time, or just focus on one, two, or your choice.

I tell myself time is an illusion. I am here, it is now, and I embrace everything in this moment.

What you can do if your present moment sucks:

(Examples: you’re at a mind-numbing job, you are under the weather, you are upset, you are hurt…)

Learn and practice the art of patience. This too shall pass.

Have the wisdom to know that you have to make a change and start planning and taking steps.

Embrace that everything is temporary.

Embrace that there is wisdom to be gained, lessons to be learned, in all moments in life, even the sucky ones.

Some moments seem meaningless, for example, “what’s the point of having to go through pain, boredom, sickness, etc.” As humans we are not immune to playing the waiting game, getting frustrated, being bored, being under the weather, etc. Sometimes we just have to power through and try to make the best of it. My Bluetooth is my best friend. If I am stuck somewhere waiting, I pop it on, and stream satellite radio, or an audiobook or YouTube videos. Or I whip out my journal or play a game on my tablet. Some moments are more complex than that, and may take a little more creativity, but you get the idea. The main point is that nothing lasts forever. And just imagine the wonderful relief and feeling of gratitude when the sucky moments finally pass. If you are in an unbearable place, use what you can to relieve your pain, try self-soothing techniques. Remember to acknowledge what you are feeling, don’t resist and push away your feelings. Comfort yourself like you would a small child. Many times in life, we have to push through discomfort to get to comfort.

 

I believe in the scales.

 

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Someone told me once, when I was feeling incredibly down, that as low I am now, I will be equally as high in the future. Life balances out, so if you are very low, expect to be very high soon.

I liked that. I kept that vision with me as I go through hard times. And my life has had up and downs.

I have perfected the art of the Bounce Back. This is why I am Resilient.

Your present moment awareness can be transitioned into a meditation practice.

Try this: Forget about chants, yoga, meditation cushions, guided meditations, and anything that you may have perceived about meditation.

Think of meditation as you just getting used to yourself and your mind. Just sit or walk with yourself and notice everything about you. Notice your thoughts and feelings. All meditation is learning about yourself and how you operate consciously. You get to know your frequent thoughts. You get to know your knee jerk reactions. You are witness to your filters and perceptions. You observe yourself, like a scientist observes things under a microscope. After observing yourself many times, you are no longer shocked by strange thoughts that come through your mind. You are no longer a prisoner to recurring negative chatter. You start to gain control over thoughts and you learn to navigate the vast sea of consciousness. It just takes time and commitment to be a witness to your existence and a desire to be more in touch with your mind and body. It’s choosing awareness. Awareness brings gratitude, and gratitude brings happiness. So just sit with yourself, in quiet. And observe.

So, what are you going to do with this moment, right now?

Fruitful Friday – lets keep the momentum going #victim #victimthinking #self-esteem #lifecoach #empowerment

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My little hawk I spent an hour with while he rested from a wing injury. He is a resilient amazing fighter. Love you buddy. He didn’t give up.

Life can beat you up sometimes. But you don’t have to be its victim.

But I get it, sometimes you need to rest your weary head. You need a break. We all need a minute, an hour, a week and maybe even more. It is OK. But don’t rest for too long and leave yourself susceptible to more knockdowns and abuse. Don’t embrace victimhood. It’s doesn’t suit you, it doesn’t serve you.

Victim thinking allows you to shirk responsibility. If you blame someone or something else, then it is not your fault. Thinking like a victim does not serve you in the long run. Yes, someone may hurt you, something unjust may happen to you. But if you continue in the role of victim, you will not have any power. You will not be responsible for yourself, you will be at the mercy of others. That is not a strong person. That is not a resilient person. That is not an empowered person.

The way to get out of victim thinking is “action”. Be in the present moment, make a decision, and act. A sense of meaning or purpose can get you out of that mindset. You can focus on a goal. Completion of goals will bring up your sense of self-worth and raise your self-esteem.

If you need help and feel like you are trapped and subject to everything around you, try this mental shift:

The persecutors, the abusers, the situations that cause you to feel like a victim – View them as challenges. View them as something to overcome, something to face and win, something to fight and become a victor over. These things are placed in your path, not to drag you down and make you feel like shit. They are there to build up your ass-kicking muscle.

Life can get tough, I get it. People can be jerks. Jobs can suck. Hours and minutes tick away and you are exhausted. You struggle. Sometimes life beats you down. We don’t always get what we want. Diseases happen, medical emergencies happen, relationships come and go. But take a look inside you. Deep down, there is a fighter in there. There is a beautiful little resilient spirit that wants to keep going. It wants to be brave, it wants to show up and it wants to kick major ass.

Nourish that spirit inside of you. Little by little, babystep by babystep, feed that fledging inside of you. It wants to fly.

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Nurture it. Feed it. Let it rest. Challenge it. Laugh with it. Adore it. Cherish it. Love it.

Now.

 Jump out of that nest.

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Wellness Wednesdays – Self-Esteem Nourishment

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Self Esteem – Weekly Wellness Series – July 25, 2018

In the vast terrain of self-esteem building, there are many topics to explore. This week we are focusing on Victim Thinking.

Victim thinking is when you believe you are at the effect of something. Something is holding a power over you. You view only limited options and feel trapped.

In order to stop thinking like a victim, you first need to start embracing responsibility for yourself.

Practice radical responsibility by understanding you are responsible for everything in your life. If you are with an abusive partner, you do not blame them for being abusive to you, it is your responsibility to take action toward a resolution.

You can play the blame game and remain stagnant in your situation. Or you can make a choice. What can you do today, right now, to improve your situation?

If you are in a state of fear, it is OK. It’s normal and natural. We all experience fear. If you need to take a brave step, remember that it is just a step. You take one step today, and then take another step tomorrow.

Let’s practice. Commit this week to take one brave action step each day until next Wednesday. You only need to be brave for one minute, two minutes; however long it takes for this step you’ve chosen. If it’s a tough conservation, that should only be a few minutes. If it’s a trip to the gym, that should be the 5 minutes it takes to put on your gym clothes and start your car. Take that first step. You only need to be brave for those first few minutes and then you are done. Tomorrow, we take another step.

You don’t have to brave 24 hours a day

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After taking your brave step today, go ahead and celebrate yourself with some self-soothing activity. Take 5 minutes or longer, here are some suggestions:

A rich delicious forward fold or child’s pose

Read an article/story on your favorite subject

Journal

Physical Activity (dance, skip, etc.)

Meditate

Take an Aromatherapy Bath

Self-massage

Self-care  (do your nails, salt scrub for your legs, deep condition your hair)

A cup of herbal tea

Just make sure your self soothe isn’t with alcohol, drugs, shopping or sugar!

 

Mindful Monday

What intention have you set for the week?

It’s Monday and a start to a fruitful week.

Set an intention. What do you want to accomplish this week?

What first step did you take today to get to your goal?

Try this:

By Friday of this week I would like to: ________________________________

Examples: Lose 1 pound, hit the gym 3 times, began Chapter 1 in my book, have that difficult conversation (with my boss, spouse, friend), Have more fun, be more present, eat healthier…What’s yours?

Mine is Lose a Pound

Choose your goal _______________________________

Take your first step TODAY – Monday.

Babystep it. Start NOW.

What did I do? 30 mins on the spin bike. What did you do?

Let me know!