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Self-power doesn’t mean that you come out like a complete jerk. It’s not about putting others down or stepping on others to get what you want.
You are putting your needs and values first, that is for sure.
You can still be a compassionate person, you can still care for others. You can also stand your ground firmly, and use your voice proudly and you can set those boundaries and let everyone know about them.
In God’s timeline, we don’t always get what we “think” we want in the time we want it.
God knows what’s best for us and we are subject to his timeline. Raging against this and tantrumming about this doesn’t help move things along any quicker. But it does show you where your passion lies. The things that you get all upset about and rage over, most likely point to your passions. Need help with identifying passions and purpose? Email me. Waiting for what we want to come takes patience, and a look inside of ourselves. What we truly want will come but only after what we need shows up first and teaches us what we need it to. Then after we learn our life lessons, we can figure out what best suits us. So if you think you want something and are waiting for it in misery, try evaluating your situation. What can you do differently to get to your goal? Is what you want, what you really want? What is this moment teaching you? What do you need to address first before you can receive what you want?
One can spend a lot of time in want. If you spend your day like that, wanting and yearning and waiting for an outside rescue, that’s a huge red flag that you are not being present, and you are missing a lesson that life is trying to teach you. There is something you must address first before you get to your want. What is it? What are you avoiding doing or facing? What are you running away from? When you spend time in want you are not accessing your self-power. You are being a victim to life, you are living at the effect of it, and are waiting for it to lead you and rescue you. How about you leading and rescuing yourself?
Once you discover your values and passions, then you can spend your time and energy honoring them and working toward them!! What a great way to spend your life; constantly working toward your need and wants! What luxury! What truly satisfying goals!
You are going to have challenges. You are going to have crappy people show up in your life. Those people are your sharpeners. They will grind your gears and get your blood boiling. Those are the times in life to take notice and take note on the things that get your undies in a twist. All those things point to your values and passions.
And stand up for yourself when these people show up. Show these sharpeners who you are. You are a fine-tipped pencil and you are not afraid to write your own destiny. They may learn a thing from you and may change their abrasive ways. Maybe, maybe not. It’s not your concern. Stand up for what you value, and move on if it gets too toxic. Because self-care and boundaries are so important. Your mental health is so important. Exposing yourself to daily abuse or neglect is toxic to your health on all levels. If you are showing up in a place that is in stark contrast of your values, that is toxic. Know when to hold them, and know when to fold them, know when to walk away, know when to run. Thank you Kenny Rogers.
So to get out of constant wanting and yearning, what do you do? Identify your values and passions. Spend your time working toward value-based goals. Use challenging people as a way to sharpen your skills in dealing with toxic people. Don’t be a victim. Respect God’s timeline. Look for lessons that life is trying to teach you. If you feel stuck, there is a reason for it! You are missing a lesson or an opportunity for growth. Set those boundaries and be verbal about them. Pursue your passions with unbridled exuberance. Lead. Practice self-care. Talk to a life coach. Follow and find your bliss. Your bliss is the thing that makes you not even aware of time. Time disappears when you are in your bliss. We are not going to be in bliss 247. But if you put your bliss first, and you spend your time working toward your bliss, then you will have it there when you want it.
(For the purposes of this article, I refer to the designer of creation as “God”. I also use “him” as an identifier. My fiance likes to use “she” which I always, correct and say, “he”. So one’s interpretation of God is their own, and I am armed with the license to express my interpretation in my own post.)
Weekly Wellness Series, August 15, 2018
What is Self-Care all about?
Self-Care is checking in with your needs on a daily basis.
Ask yourself “What do I need today?”
Have you been putting off exercising?
What can you do today? Walk? A short run? 20 jumping jacks?
Do you get enough sleep last night?
Here are some self-care tips:
Exercise a strength – whatever it is – writing, singing, telling jokes, dancing, running, volunteering, cooking, etc.
Document yourself – Journal – take photos, write about something you love
Switch up your schedule – invite positive change into your week, add an activity – delete an activity
Play! – Do a puzzle – play a game
Unplug your electronics – or blast your favorite song
Make a connection – call someone you haven’t spoke to in a while
Engage Your Senses
The smell and taste of a tea bag
the smell and feel of oils or lotion
Carry some in your purse, keep some in your car.
I always carry journals with me. Even though I do a lot of reading and writing with my cell phone, there is nothing quite like writing with a pen on paper for me. It really slows me down.
Pay attention to yourself. Look inward. What are your needs?